Happy New Year! Just like with any start, I am positively overwhelmed by the many possibilities that the sense of newness brings. In doing my best with keeping with the Kwanzaa tradition, I wrote in a my journal with the aim to reflect on the three questions: Who am I? Am I really who I say I am? Am I all that I ought to be? Interestingly enough, I got a call while writing from someone sharing an observation she'd made of me. As I listened, I initially felt inclined to defend and justify, but something told me to just listen. Listen and take in what was being said, for even if I don't agree with everyting, there may be something worth considering. At the core of her criticism was a reminder to be mindful of how my behavior may be influenced by those who surrounds me. Fair enough, right? Sometimes when people say something to us, we forget that they are only sharing one perspective of many. It is up to us to determine which perspective we want to prioritize. Maybe it's our own, maybe it's the critic's, maybe it's God's. Whatever the case may be, I've learned that to listen, think, then decide, in that order, are three key steps to handling criticism well.
Listen. Although it can be hard, having someone point out a flaw of yours may not inherently be a mischievous act. To the contrary, a person may honestly want to help you be a better you. Even if you know the person doens't have your best interest at her, try to see any critique as a potential opportunity for self-improvement.
Think. This is the time you take to really assess what has been said and whether or not it has any validity. Perhaps it is soemthing that you've been thinking about yourself. Maybe you've never even noticed. You may want to gather more information by askign others if they've drawn the same conclusions. Or, you may simply think about whether the topic is worht thinking about! Essentially, this is the time where you have the power to critique the criticism. Just because someone says something doesn't mean it is true.
Decide. I like to think of this as the 'Next Steps' phase. Here is when you determine how you want to move forward. You may actually agree with the person, but decide making a change right now doens't work. You may decide the person was way off base, but appreciated their concern. Or you may decide to do nothing at all and keep it moving. Whatever works for you.
Now, I don't have a timeline as to how long each step should take. It may that all these things happen simultaneously, or it can take a week to come to a decision about how to react to what someone said. I got my call yesterday and I'm still pondering over what was said. Whatever works for you. I am happy that this happened early in the year, as it is something that I'd like to adopt moving forward. What about you? How do you usually handle criticism?
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| [courtesy of google images] |
Think. This is the time you take to really assess what has been said and whether or not it has any validity. Perhaps it is soemthing that you've been thinking about yourself. Maybe you've never even noticed. You may want to gather more information by askign others if they've drawn the same conclusions. Or, you may simply think about whether the topic is worht thinking about! Essentially, this is the time where you have the power to critique the criticism. Just because someone says something doesn't mean it is true.
Decide. I like to think of this as the 'Next Steps' phase. Here is when you determine how you want to move forward. You may actually agree with the person, but decide making a change right now doens't work. You may decide the person was way off base, but appreciated their concern. Or you may decide to do nothing at all and keep it moving. Whatever works for you.
Now, I don't have a timeline as to how long each step should take. It may that all these things happen simultaneously, or it can take a week to come to a decision about how to react to what someone said. I got my call yesterday and I'm still pondering over what was said. Whatever works for you. I am happy that this happened early in the year, as it is something that I'd like to adopt moving forward. What about you? How do you usually handle criticism?
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