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Unplugged: Letting My Thoughts Breathe

Some say that the first step toward solving a problem is to admit that the problem exists. So here it goes: I have this problem. The second step for me is to label exactly what it is, and that's been the hard part. I don't know if it's a sense of emptiness or boredom, whether I'm missing something or I have too much of it, or if it's something that needs to be changed or just managed. What I do know is that I haven't really felt...fulfilled.

At the core of me, I am craving something more, beyond the monotony and beyond the mental clutter of social media. With the world at my fingertips, I somehow insist on subjecting myself daily to the limited scope of my email messages, text messages, and FB newsfeed. Subconsciously looking for something new, but ending up with a bunch of the same old things. My mind is bombarded with people's random thoughts over and over again in different forms. I can almost feel my mind becoming less creative just typing about it. ::cringe::

So yeah, that's my problem. My mind has been overstuffed with a bunch of useless stuff, and I need to clean house. Two weeks ago I had the privilege of traveling to New Hampshire, and unexpectedly said goodbye to any cellphone usage (#roamingcharges #nothanks). That and the weak wifi at the place I stayed gave me limited access to anyone not in NH with me. Looking back, I am grateful for it because I may not have been present enough to enjoy the absolute beauty that is the nature in NH! Riding through the beautiful mountains, listening to the flowing streams, watching the stars across a pitch black sky were some of the most peaceful and spiritually-enriching experiences I've had in my life! While I couldn't help impulses to capture a picture of the beauty to show everyone, I was happy that I wasn't immediately able to. I was forced to let those beautiful scenes permeate my senses and imprint on my memory, and save the pictures for later. My mind felt as clear as that crisp air I was breathing. 


While there, I noticed that I generated a lot of personal goals. Things that I wanted to get done over the coming weeks, career plans, future family expectations. I was able to focus on me and more importantly, hear me. I could hear my thoughts. In constantly ingesting other's lives, via FB, twitter or whatever, my mind doesn't really have time to breathe... After 4 months of life lived - graduation, awards, weddings, moving, moving back, starting a new life chapter- I am back to the place where I have allowed myself to reflect, to create, and to simply focus on my thoughts without the intrusion of others for the last 14 months. The place where I am free to be me. More importantly, where I can retreat from all things useless and focus on what's useful. I may not be in NH anymore, but I'm working to create my own space to unplug from the world in order to focus and live in a more fulfilling way.

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